A friend from my first semester here at BYU-Idaho back in 2005 posted this to her facebook. I absolutely love it! As I listened to it I was reminded of the journey I have had to take through my young adult life. I've had a lot of different experiences to get me to the point where I am now comfortable with myself and this song illustrates that to me for some reason.
Recently I was watching my roommates who are 18-20 years old go through life and have their own experiences I was excited for them to learn that they don't have to please every one.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
West Yellowstone (I wish i could think up clever titles)
Last year Tressa and I went to West Yellowstone for her birthday and saw Guys and Dolls. We LOVED it so much that we decided to make it a tradition. 
This year we grabbed Sarah and went to see The Foreigner.
I was a bit skeptical, but the Play Mill of West Yellowstone came through again! We loved it!
Happy Birthday Tressa! 
I am so sad this is our last summer in Rexburg together. (But lets be honest, I am not sad I wont be here as a student next year!!!)
This year we grabbed Sarah and went to see The Foreigner.
I was a bit skeptical, but the Play Mill of West Yellowstone came through again! We loved it!
Happy Birthday Tressa! 
I am so sad this is our last summer in Rexburg together. (But lets be honest, I am not sad I wont be here as a student next year!!!)
Pool Party!
So last Friday night....Meaning July 9th. Tressa, Sarah, and I were sitting around the house trying to think of something we could do. Tressa and I were planning on going camping that weekend but it just didn't happen. We were both exhausted and didn't really want to leave the house. It was also ULTRA hot (We don't have air conditioning) and I wanted to go swimming. So I thought of a plan..... I made a quick trip to K-mart and picked up a 19.99 inflatable swimming pool and blew it up nice and big!
After the pool was ready, we put it in the kitchen, put on our bathing suits, and went for a swim!
During our swim we soaked and enjoyed the fine film, Madagascar. To follow our aquatic adventure, we then set up a tent provided by our wonderful friend Eric and camped out for the night in our living room. It was great! (minus the fact is was only a 2 person tent. Warning: when they say two person capacity, they MEAN it.)
Please excuse my lack of clothing. It was SOOOOO hot and well, it's my house and my blog. :)
Sarah was already asleep.
I did temporarily clothe myself for this picture. It was a tight squeeze in there but we had a great night!
After the pool was ready, we put it in the kitchen, put on our bathing suits, and went for a swim!
During our swim we soaked and enjoyed the fine film, Madagascar. To follow our aquatic adventure, we then set up a tent provided by our wonderful friend Eric and camped out for the night in our living room. It was great! (minus the fact is was only a 2 person tent. Warning: when they say two person capacity, they MEAN it.)
Please excuse my lack of clothing. It was SOOOOO hot and well, it's my house and my blog. :)
Sarah was already asleep.
I did temporarily clothe myself for this picture. It was a tight squeeze in there but we had a great night!Here are some more pictures of our night.
Sarah Made us a fantastic spaghetti dinner before our swim. Luckily none of us got cramps in the water.
Filling the pool up. (we used buckets too)
We were getting rid of the water. It was to heavy to carry the pool outside so we dumped most of it down the sink. Looking back, we really should have cleaned our dishes while we were at it.
Sarah Drake, my 1st counselor, came over to help deflate the pool. It was a lot of fun!
Sarah Made us a fantastic spaghetti dinner before our swim. Luckily none of us got cramps in the water.
Filling the pool up. (we used buckets too)
We were getting rid of the water. It was to heavy to carry the pool outside so we dumped most of it down the sink. Looking back, we really should have cleaned our dishes while we were at it.
Sarah Drake, my 1st counselor, came over to help deflate the pool. It was a lot of fun!We had a blast camping and swimming without having to even leave the comfort of our own home. Tressa and I were a little nervous during our swim because we live next door to the apartment managers and I don't know how much they would like it if they knew we had a swimming pool in our apartment. But not to worry, I read the whole contract and it said nothing about swimming in your kitchen being against the rules!
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Lets go fly a kite!
Monday was the perfect kite flying day! Tressa and I set out on a kite flying adventure. First we began with walking to Jamba Juice to get the energy we needed for the long day of kite flying we had ahead of us.
After we had enough energy we set out on our long journey to Porter Park. (And by long journey I mean 5 minute walk.) We made our kites and had fun. Unfortunately my white ninja kite decided that it liked the ground so much more then the skies (do not let the pictures deceive you). We could not figure out why it didn't fly well. Here are some pictures from our fun day!
After we had enough energy we set out on our long journey to Porter Park. (And by long journey I mean 5 minute walk.) We made our kites and had fun. Unfortunately my white ninja kite decided that it liked the ground so much more then the skies (do not let the pictures deceive you). We could not figure out why it didn't fly well. Here are some pictures from our fun day!
Friday, July 9, 2010
Little Miss Cokeville
This 4th of July Weekend Tressa and I did not continue our yearly tradition of traveling down to Utah to shoot off Pepsi fireworks with our sister and brothers. No, this year she and I had the great honor of celebrating our nation's and Uncle's birthday in Cokeville, WY judging the little miss Cokeville beauty pageant.
So many people have been asking how we got that gig. Well, duh..... We aaaare Beautiful! What more qualifications do you need to judge a beauty pageant then that? Actually a good friend of mine is doing his internship there and pretty much runs the town. He was desperate and gave us a call.
It turned out sooo well and we had a ton of fun! Cokeville is a cute little town of 500 people and is about a mile long. When we got there we sat through quite an interesting 4th of July program and then the beauty began. It was very fun watching the little girls from 3 to 11 years old walk across the stage and preform their talents from knitting and coloring to dancing and singing.
Before the pageant we had no idea what kind of event this would be and what we should dress for. We started out our journey dressed to impressed but then half way there received an email saying every one would be casual. So we pulled over and changed into something a little more comfortable. (Luckily it was WY and there weren't to many passers by to enjoy our strip tease on the side of the road.)
This is what we looked like at the beginning of our journey
And these are all of the judges after the show was over.
And this was the man in charge of it all. He coincidentally enough was the 2nd runner up for Little miss Cokeville.
That title is well deserved don't you think?
So many people have been asking how we got that gig. Well, duh..... We aaaare Beautiful! What more qualifications do you need to judge a beauty pageant then that? Actually a good friend of mine is doing his internship there and pretty much runs the town. He was desperate and gave us a call.
It turned out sooo well and we had a ton of fun! Cokeville is a cute little town of 500 people and is about a mile long. When we got there we sat through quite an interesting 4th of July program and then the beauty began. It was very fun watching the little girls from 3 to 11 years old walk across the stage and preform their talents from knitting and coloring to dancing and singing.
Before the pageant we had no idea what kind of event this would be and what we should dress for. We started out our journey dressed to impressed but then half way there received an email saying every one would be casual. So we pulled over and changed into something a little more comfortable. (Luckily it was WY and there weren't to many passers by to enjoy our strip tease on the side of the road.)
This is what we looked like at the beginning of our journey
And these are all of the judges after the show was over.
And this was the man in charge of it all. He coincidentally enough was the 2nd runner up for Little miss Cokeville.
That title is well deserved don't you think?
Thursday, July 1, 2010
The Ultimate Love story
This is a really long post and was more therapeutic for me to write then anything else. So enjoy if you think you can make it through all my ramblings. You are welcome to skip this one.
Growing up I used to dream of the man I would be eternally happy with. I imagined that he was tall and handsome. He was kind and strong. He was tender hearted and adventurous. In my dreams he would sweep me off my feet and we'd have the greatest adventure of our lives. I imagined that we would marry and be poor college students in a basement apartment somewhere and our early struggles together would make me love him more and more. He would come home with bouquet of dandelions because that's all we could afford and as I am cleaning up after dinner he'd rush in, take me in his arms, and begin singing to me off key while we danced and laughed.
Now, 17 years later I feel those dreams of an 8 year old girl fading more and more. I do not write that to gain sympathy or alarm any one that I am sad or depressed. I am actually quite happy with my life and where I am. I am a 25 year old woman who has experienced many triumphs as well as sorrows. I have blessed peoples’ lives and have had my life blessed in return. I am completing my degree and I am confident and excited for what the future holds. But as I find myself surrounded by pregnant, 19 year house wives and my bride's maid dresses are piling up, I sometimes allow my self to wonder if the old saying about my pile of dresses is true. Always a bride's maid, never a bride.
Lately in my quiet moments I have felt a little lonely and knowing that my single status is very much my own doing I have wondered if I have the ability to open up my heart. At this point it may take some doing by a very patient and persistent man.
Well, the other night I grabbed some girls from my Relief Society and we went to Letters To Juliet. I must admit I was a little cynical about it. All of the chick flicks I have seen recently have been a huge disappointment. They have been sappy, lacked plot, or just have way too much sex. But this movie was different. I was pleasantly surprised. I enjoyed it quite a bit and had realizations that calmed my antsy heart.
As I was watching the movie I began to think about my very first love as well as my other experiences of romance. It was like my own little movie in my head featuring me and any man who has ever meant something to me.
The first face I saw in my mind was this one:
This is Robbie Calton. He was the very first man that made my heart jump when I saw him or heard his voice. He is the same Robbie who saved me from the creepy Tres Davis in HS by offering to come with me. I met him when I was 16 years old and on a first date with his cousin. We quickly became great friends and had so much fun together. A few months after meeting him I moved from Virginia to Maryland and our friendship continued to grow and develop over the phone and email. During this time I turned 17 (like it really makes a difference). The picture above was taken during one of his trips up to Maryland. He had patiently allowed my 8 year old sister to do his hair. He has beautiful, and I mean beautiful, blue eyes that melted my heart. This 20 year old man taught me what it felt like to be loved by some one. As I have gone through my relationships only one has ever made me feel the way he did. Whenever I walked in the room and he would look at me I felt like the most beautiful girl to him. There would be times we were in a room full of people and I would catch him gazing at me like I was the only person there. Every time we went to a restaurant he would grab a napkin and make me a paper rose just like these:
One of my very favorite things he would do was "tell me secrets". At completely random times he would look at me and motion for me to come a little closer saying he had a secret to tell me. The first 100 times I fell for it and legitimately thought he had some secret to whisper in my ear. But instead he would always whisper something about how beautiful, great, or wonderful I was. Because he was hundreds of miles away and also 20 years old, we kept our feelings to ourselves. I didn't tell him until months later and close to the end of our contact with each other how I felt.
Eventually things began to deteriorate, a phone call was made, and I officially experienced my first broken heart. Now, there is a certain cynic out there that I know will roll their eyes when reading this and think, "Come on. You were 17 years old. It was puppy love. Not the real thing". To you I say, you may be right. Who knows. But nonetheless it hurt and I learned some amazing things from that experience. Heart break and all.
9 months after Robbie and I went our separate ways I turned 18 and met Michael Brady Paulich.
We were in and out of touch for a few years. Finally our paths crossed again and we went on the same humanitarian aid trip to El Salvador. There the flame began to be rekindled a bit. Hollan was impressed with how forgiving and kind I was towards him, and I was still impressed with his amazing ambition, work ethic, and genuine love for the people we served. I also think that the tropical location didn't hurt the summer fling either. To keep it short, sparks were flying and a romance was rekindled over orphans and papusas.
I was living in Provo Utah at the time and we were set up on a blind date by a good friend of both of ours. He was the man every girl needs to date once. He swore, wore a leather jacket, and drove a motorcycle. Brad had the most tender heart of them all. He would anticipate my every need and he was the best at understanding "the female language". I would sit down and just mention it was cold in the room and immediately the fan would be turned off and I would have a blanket. Or before I could even ask he would ask me if I needed anything to drink and when I said yes he didn't even need to ask what I wanted. He learned what I loved quickly and always just brought it to me. He sure did spoil me. Even though when we met he was a little rough around the edges, I was so impressed with how much he respected me and how careful he was to never cross any lines that he shouldn't.
I loved his cute mother and how much he loved her too. She and I are still good friends to this day. I loved the long motorcycle night rides we would take in Provo Canyon. I loved that he would stay up to talk to me as I drove the 45 minutes home late at night to keep me awake even though he had work early in the morning and was exhausted. One of my favorite memories of him was when we were in the car one night and we were discussing alternatives for using swear words. I suggested that he use the word heck as an alternative to another he often used. He said he would never say heck if his life depended on it. No less then 5 minutes later another car swerved in front of us and he yelled "oh my heck!" without even thinking. I thought it was HILARIOUS! (don't worry Daddy, very soon he cut the cussing out all together). I always knew that I could count on Brad whenever I needed him. Even though I knew he would drop whatever he had going on to help me, I also knew he would never let me walk all over him and I loved that about him. He was not afraid to tell me when he thought I was wrong or stand up for what he thought was right.
Our relationship came to the point that big decisions needed to be made. Like eternal decisions. I moved home that fall that we were dating and we talked on the phone constantly! Although Brad loved me very much and I knew it, I just was not ready for the "next step". We did not continue dating, but continued to be good friends and offer each other support when needed.
I had a few other "boyfriends" but I don't have much to say about them. The last man that I can talk about is Cameron S. Gardner. Or as I called him Cameron Super Stud Gardner.
This guy is another guy that I just don't know how to describe. When I met this man I felt like I was in a dream. My father always has told me that I should never marry anyone unless I feel like the luckiest girl in the world just to have that person in my life. 
(Let me explain this picture a bit. I had teased him about a family picture he was in where he was making this weird face while we were at his home. So Liz took this picture after we had been traveling all day and he was trying to duplicate the strange face he had in the family picture I teased him about)
A little before our engagement however the dynamics of our relationship started to change a bit. And I started to doubt. When he proposed, I was not ready for it but still I said yes. Following our engagement when I told people the news I felt like I had to fake a really happy face. They would ask me if I was excited and I felt like I was lying to their face. It was a very confusing time because I was so excited to get married up until about a week before he proposed and I didn't understand why things had changed. I thought to myself, "I am getting MARRIED! I should be much more excited then this."
He and I had a talk and came to the conclusion that we should not get married. We went our separate ways and as time passed I was able to realize why I needed to go home the semester we were supposed to get married and that the Lord had other plans for me. I was also able to reflect on our relationship and understand a little better why I wasn't feeling so great about things before we got engaged. I am grateful for what I have learned and the experience I have gained.
Growing up I used to dream of the man I would be eternally happy with. I imagined that he was tall and handsome. He was kind and strong. He was tender hearted and adventurous. In my dreams he would sweep me off my feet and we'd have the greatest adventure of our lives. I imagined that we would marry and be poor college students in a basement apartment somewhere and our early struggles together would make me love him more and more. He would come home with bouquet of dandelions because that's all we could afford and as I am cleaning up after dinner he'd rush in, take me in his arms, and begin singing to me off key while we danced and laughed.
Now, 17 years later I feel those dreams of an 8 year old girl fading more and more. I do not write that to gain sympathy or alarm any one that I am sad or depressed. I am actually quite happy with my life and where I am. I am a 25 year old woman who has experienced many triumphs as well as sorrows. I have blessed peoples’ lives and have had my life blessed in return. I am completing my degree and I am confident and excited for what the future holds. But as I find myself surrounded by pregnant, 19 year house wives and my bride's maid dresses are piling up, I sometimes allow my self to wonder if the old saying about my pile of dresses is true. Always a bride's maid, never a bride.
Lately in my quiet moments I have felt a little lonely and knowing that my single status is very much my own doing I have wondered if I have the ability to open up my heart. At this point it may take some doing by a very patient and persistent man.
Well, the other night I grabbed some girls from my Relief Society and we went to Letters To Juliet. I must admit I was a little cynical about it. All of the chick flicks I have seen recently have been a huge disappointment. They have been sappy, lacked plot, or just have way too much sex. But this movie was different. I was pleasantly surprised. I enjoyed it quite a bit and had realizations that calmed my antsy heart.
As I was watching the movie I began to think about my very first love as well as my other experiences of romance. It was like my own little movie in my head featuring me and any man who has ever meant something to me.
The first face I saw in my mind was this one:
This is Robbie Calton. He was the very first man that made my heart jump when I saw him or heard his voice. He is the same Robbie who saved me from the creepy Tres Davis in HS by offering to come with me. I met him when I was 16 years old and on a first date with his cousin. We quickly became great friends and had so much fun together. A few months after meeting him I moved from Virginia to Maryland and our friendship continued to grow and develop over the phone and email. During this time I turned 17 (like it really makes a difference). The picture above was taken during one of his trips up to Maryland. He had patiently allowed my 8 year old sister to do his hair. He has beautiful, and I mean beautiful, blue eyes that melted my heart. This 20 year old man taught me what it felt like to be loved by some one. As I have gone through my relationships only one has ever made me feel the way he did. Whenever I walked in the room and he would look at me I felt like the most beautiful girl to him. There would be times we were in a room full of people and I would catch him gazing at me like I was the only person there. Every time we went to a restaurant he would grab a napkin and make me a paper rose just like these:
One of my very favorite things he would do was "tell me secrets". At completely random times he would look at me and motion for me to come a little closer saying he had a secret to tell me. The first 100 times I fell for it and legitimately thought he had some secret to whisper in my ear. But instead he would always whisper something about how beautiful, great, or wonderful I was. Because he was hundreds of miles away and also 20 years old, we kept our feelings to ourselves. I didn't tell him until months later and close to the end of our contact with each other how I felt. Eventually things began to deteriorate, a phone call was made, and I officially experienced my first broken heart. Now, there is a certain cynic out there that I know will roll their eyes when reading this and think, "Come on. You were 17 years old. It was puppy love. Not the real thing". To you I say, you may be right. Who knows. But nonetheless it hurt and I learned some amazing things from that experience. Heart break and all.
9 months after Robbie and I went our separate ways I turned 18 and met Michael Brady Paulich.
My life changed in so many ways. The relationship I had with this man is the hardest for me to describe. With Brady I had my highest highs as well as my lowest lows. It was quite the ride with him. He is probably the hardest for my family to read about and that could be a reason why I am struggling to know how to describe him.
I was 18 years old and thought I had automatically turned into a responsible adult. I mean c'mon, I could sign myself out of high school for goodness sakes. This straight arrow little Mormon girl could now legally pair off with someone and so.... I did. In reality I was a young girl who was still figuring out who I was. Brady and I began dating and honestly we had a blast. It began as a summer fling for both of us and I enjoyed the nights we spent catching fireflies on the golf course.
Quickly things became much more serious and Brady became my best friend. I felt that he knew and understood me better then any one. He knew exactly the right things to say to instantly make me happy and he knew exactly what to say to instantly make me enraged and never want to see him again. I laughed more with him then with anyone else. And I cried more tears because of him then anyone else. We talked about many of our deepest fears and our fondest hopes. I could tell him anything and I knew he would just listen. He was the one who taught me the importance of communication. I felt that I could completely be myself around him and he would enjoy it.
We had so many inside jokes and we just had to look at each other to know what the other was thinking. We had pet names for each other which usually stemmed from those previously mentioned inside jokes. Mine was Deborah Doo and eventually just Doo. I loved it when he called me that. I still at times crave the emotional intimacy we shared, which is probably one reason I always went back to him. Although it may sound like we had a strong relationship it was also a toxic one. It was a long and rough road but after 3 years of off-and-on we finally ended things for good.
I must add that I learned an immense amount from my time with Brady. I learned about relationships, respect, values, human interactions, and myself. I learned that I am a strong woman who can do hard things. I learned that I do stand for something and it is worth fighting for. I learned so much more about my weaknesses and I learned that when I truly commit to something I don't turn away. Brady learned and grew quite a bit himself. I am happy for him and I am happy how well he is doing in his life now. I hope he and his family continue to grow together and love and support each other.
The next romance I came to was a bit of a whirlwind. It happened quickly and ended quickly. I don't have a picture of him but His name was Mike. He and I met in the fall when I was 19 and recovering from some hard things. He was 27 years old, fun, and exciting. He was a movie director and working for an online university in Baltimore. He was very funny and the life of the party everywhere we went. We went to plays, amusement parks, movies, and any other activity he could think of.
Some of my favorite times we had together were when we would be sitting in the car, or on my porch, or just out in the grass some where discussing life and our outrageous plans. He had a great imagination and indulged me as we exchanged our crazy ideas and plans for adventures.
I was 18 years old and thought I had automatically turned into a responsible adult. I mean c'mon, I could sign myself out of high school for goodness sakes. This straight arrow little Mormon girl could now legally pair off with someone and so.... I did. In reality I was a young girl who was still figuring out who I was. Brady and I began dating and honestly we had a blast. It began as a summer fling for both of us and I enjoyed the nights we spent catching fireflies on the golf course.
Quickly things became much more serious and Brady became my best friend. I felt that he knew and understood me better then any one. He knew exactly the right things to say to instantly make me happy and he knew exactly what to say to instantly make me enraged and never want to see him again. I laughed more with him then with anyone else. And I cried more tears because of him then anyone else. We talked about many of our deepest fears and our fondest hopes. I could tell him anything and I knew he would just listen. He was the one who taught me the importance of communication. I felt that I could completely be myself around him and he would enjoy it.
We had so many inside jokes and we just had to look at each other to know what the other was thinking. We had pet names for each other which usually stemmed from those previously mentioned inside jokes. Mine was Deborah Doo and eventually just Doo. I loved it when he called me that. I still at times crave the emotional intimacy we shared, which is probably one reason I always went back to him. Although it may sound like we had a strong relationship it was also a toxic one. It was a long and rough road but after 3 years of off-and-on we finally ended things for good.
I must add that I learned an immense amount from my time with Brady. I learned about relationships, respect, values, human interactions, and myself. I learned that I am a strong woman who can do hard things. I learned that I do stand for something and it is worth fighting for. I learned so much more about my weaknesses and I learned that when I truly commit to something I don't turn away. Brady learned and grew quite a bit himself. I am happy for him and I am happy how well he is doing in his life now. I hope he and his family continue to grow together and love and support each other.
The next romance I came to was a bit of a whirlwind. It happened quickly and ended quickly. I don't have a picture of him but His name was Mike. He and I met in the fall when I was 19 and recovering from some hard things. He was 27 years old, fun, and exciting. He was a movie director and working for an online university in Baltimore. He was very funny and the life of the party everywhere we went. We went to plays, amusement parks, movies, and any other activity he could think of.
Some of my favorite times we had together were when we would be sitting in the car, or on my porch, or just out in the grass some where discussing life and our outrageous plans. He had a great imagination and indulged me as we exchanged our crazy ideas and plans for adventures.
I looked at him in a way that I couldn't duplicate with anyone else after we dated. He would tell me how I melted his heart every time I looked at him that way. He also always told me how beautiful I looked. (He thought I looked like Natalie Portman. I still don't see it but whatever floats your boat.)
Soon we began talking about marriage and our adventurous future together. The problem was I was 19 and had crazy dreams and ideas of my own that did not include a husband and children right away. We compromised and the plan was for me to go pursue my dreams for a little while and then we would start a life together. However, as soon as that plan was made it was changed.
You see, Mike was divorced and had a 5 year old son whom he loved and adored. I was always so impressed with how kind and gracious he was about his ex-wife and what they went through. But I was even more impressed with what an amazing father he was. Shortly after our plans were made, his ex-wife called wanting to try things again. The poor man was so torn about what to do. Eventually he made the right choice and went back to give things another shot with his ex in hopes to provide a stable family for his son whom he adored more then any one on this planet. My heart was sad but I was also so happy for him and his family. I am not exactly sure what happened to them but I am sure they are having fun where ever they are.
You see, Mike was divorced and had a 5 year old son whom he loved and adored. I was always so impressed with how kind and gracious he was about his ex-wife and what they went through. But I was even more impressed with what an amazing father he was. Shortly after our plans were made, his ex-wife called wanting to try things again. The poor man was so torn about what to do. Eventually he made the right choice and went back to give things another shot with his ex in hopes to provide a stable family for his son whom he adored more then any one on this planet. My heart was sad but I was also so happy for him and his family. I am not exactly sure what happened to them but I am sure they are having fun where ever they are.
After that experience I went to college and began living the dream of a carefree college co-ed. I became extremely confident in my dating skills. I knew I could get any man I wanted and had about 3 dates every weekend. I had the game (and men) down to a science. Enter Dr. Hollan Harper.
Hollan Harper was what you would call a player. He oozed of confidence, charm and was never low on female companions. He was the challenge of all challenges and I was determined to use my fine tuned skills to break this pre med's cocky little ego. He had been told I was untouchable and impossible to win over. Our relationship was a lot like a game of survivor. Out Whit, Out Play, Out Last.
I must say, Hollan was a lot of fun and one of those people who can schmooze anyone. He has a great personality and an amazing work ethic. Really he was an awesome guy. Eventually after coming to my senses as well as an exhausting two weeks of intense games, I decided that if I was going to be a relationship with him I was actually going to put effort into it and do it for the right reasons. I guess you could say he won the showdown because I decided to invest my heart. A few weeks later he informed me he wanted to get back together with his ex. I was very gracious, if I do says so myself, and we ended things then and there.
We were in and out of touch for a few years. Finally our paths crossed again and we went on the same humanitarian aid trip to El Salvador. There the flame began to be rekindled a bit. Hollan was impressed with how forgiving and kind I was towards him, and I was still impressed with his amazing ambition, work ethic, and genuine love for the people we served. I also think that the tropical location didn't hurt the summer fling either. To keep it short, sparks were flying and a romance was rekindled over orphans and papusas.
When we returned to the real world there was question of what would happen then. We kept in contact and discussed the possibility for me to come out to BYU-Idaho. I struggled a bit to make my decision. I had just been given a fabulous raise and promotion at work and was pursuing my nursing degree at home in Maryland. If I moved to Idaho I would be giving up my life for a man who had already burnt me in the past. I finally decided to throw caution to the wind, follow my heart, and go back to BYU-Idaho. Things changed with Hollan very quickly before I got to school but I am so glad that I am here at BYU-Idaho. Good move on my part.
Between my romances with Dr. Harper, I met the only other man who treated me as well as Rob. His name was Brad Baird. 
I was living in Provo Utah at the time and we were set up on a blind date by a good friend of both of ours. He was the man every girl needs to date once. He swore, wore a leather jacket, and drove a motorcycle. Brad had the most tender heart of them all. He would anticipate my every need and he was the best at understanding "the female language". I would sit down and just mention it was cold in the room and immediately the fan would be turned off and I would have a blanket. Or before I could even ask he would ask me if I needed anything to drink and when I said yes he didn't even need to ask what I wanted. He learned what I loved quickly and always just brought it to me. He sure did spoil me. Even though when we met he was a little rough around the edges, I was so impressed with how much he respected me and how careful he was to never cross any lines that he shouldn't. 
I loved his cute mother and how much he loved her too. She and I are still good friends to this day. I loved the long motorcycle night rides we would take in Provo Canyon. I loved that he would stay up to talk to me as I drove the 45 minutes home late at night to keep me awake even though he had work early in the morning and was exhausted. One of my favorite memories of him was when we were in the car one night and we were discussing alternatives for using swear words. I suggested that he use the word heck as an alternative to another he often used. He said he would never say heck if his life depended on it. No less then 5 minutes later another car swerved in front of us and he yelled "oh my heck!" without even thinking. I thought it was HILARIOUS! (don't worry Daddy, very soon he cut the cussing out all together). I always knew that I could count on Brad whenever I needed him. Even though I knew he would drop whatever he had going on to help me, I also knew he would never let me walk all over him and I loved that about him. He was not afraid to tell me when he thought I was wrong or stand up for what he thought was right. Our relationship came to the point that big decisions needed to be made. Like eternal decisions. I moved home that fall that we were dating and we talked on the phone constantly! Although Brad loved me very much and I knew it, I just was not ready for the "next step". We did not continue dating, but continued to be good friends and offer each other support when needed.
I had a few other "boyfriends" but I don't have much to say about them. The last man that I can talk about is Cameron S. Gardner. Or as I called him Cameron Super Stud Gardner.
This guy is another guy that I just don't know how to describe. When I met this man I felt like I was in a dream. My father always has told me that I should never marry anyone unless I feel like the luckiest girl in the world just to have that person in my life. 
Cameron Gardner was that man. I remember at the beginning of our relationship I called home and cried to Tressa about how I really felt like he was way out of my league and I just didn't know what to do. We had a lot of fun that summer and I loved how I felt when I was around him. I loved the very sweet and romantic things he would do for me. I'd find random notes and flowers on my car or come home finding an item I had mentioned to him I liked in the bookstore. Whenever he would come over and pick me up at my apartment he always lit up as soon as he would see me. What girl wouldn't like that? We had hard moments but just kind of got through them. I felt that our relationship went pretty fast but hey, I thought he was fantastic so I went with it. By the end of the semester we were engaged and planning the greatest wedding of all time!
(Let me explain this picture a bit. I had teased him about a family picture he was in where he was making this weird face while we were at his home. So Liz took this picture after we had been traveling all day and he was trying to duplicate the strange face he had in the family picture I teased him about)
He and I had a talk and came to the conclusion that we should not get married. We went our separate ways and as time passed I was able to realize why I needed to go home the semester we were supposed to get married and that the Lord had other plans for me. I was also able to reflect on our relationship and understand a little better why I wasn't feeling so great about things before we got engaged. I am grateful for what I have learned and the experience I have gained.
As I sat there in the movie replaying all of the memories and romances in my head I felt like my life is a huge love story where the ending is yet to be determined. It is a little bit thrilling not knowing how this is all going to end. Will I end up with one of the two men who are still single? Or will I meet some one totally new? When it happens I am sure it will be the ultimate love story! Until that mystery is unfolds, it is back to real life and the exciting task of making something of myself. It’s just like Sister Hinckley says, “before you become somebody’s wife, become somebody.” So here I go! There is so much in life to look forward too!
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