Getting ready to go

Whew,
So here's the latest update in 5 minutes or less. I am winding down at best buy. My last day is in a week from today. I have torn feelings but overall I am so excited to escape the day after Christmas craziness. I am finished with the semester, and let me tell you, that is one the biggest reliefs ever! Sarah and I are getting ready to hit the open road and drive out to UT and then on to ID. I am so excited to spend some time in UT. I will be honest and say that I will probably be visiting temple square. (Sarah has never been)

I am anxious to get to school. I love MD but I feel like I am so busy here that it is hard for me to have a life. I have had my new car for about a week and a half now and I LOVE IT! I think it's great (although it's still to cold to put the top down) At first I was planning on just turning around and selling it but I can't imagine doing that. I really love it, (stupid mint green color and all). I added a few fun things to it this last week and it has been fun trying them out and laughing at myself when it doesn't work. The biggest thing I added was an automatic start/security system. I thought it might be nice to have my car already heated up on those deathly cold days in Rexburg.

The night it was installed I could not for the life of me figure out how to start it up. My manager and I sat there for a few minutes pushing all the buttons we could think of on the control and finally we got it started. Unfortunately I triggered the alarm I forgot I had getting into the car and didn't know how to turn it off. Anthony was rolling as I stubbornly drove away with the alarm ringing in the silent night air. (I finally pulled over and he helped me turn it off) WOW, this it going to be fun!

Is this a blessing or a blunder?

Well, for those of you who know anything about my car situation you know that it's not a very healthy one. Yes I have one...well kind of. But recently the whole situation just got a little more twisted. But it has turned out to be a huge learning experience for me. WOW has it ever. Consequently I am feed up with my current car and all the....uh, adventures that has come with it. So i have been in search of a me car. I have been really into SUVs lately and I have been wanting one REALLY bad! It works nicely with my plans to go to the tundra of the USA, Rexburg, Idaho this winter. I have never technically shopped for cars and I have found it easier to find a plethora of SUVs on Ebay. Obviously the ones I can afford are a few years old and have at least 100,000 miles on them but I'll take it!

So yesterday I decided to give other types of cars a chance and look through them just for fun. There was a car I saw that had a pretty low price and only had a few hours left. I didn't want it but being caught up in the ebay fever I thought it would be fun to put a bid in knowing that it was worth about 5,000 more then what i put in and I would be out bid pretty quick. I entered my maximum bid and was off to work not thinking much about it. During my lunch I was curious to see how much it went for and yep, you guessed it! To my huge surprise I am now the *ahem* proud owner of a 2000 Chrysler Sebring Convertible!

What?!?! I don't even like convertibles! Don't get me wrong, they are nice to look at and when I was younger I would have DIED to get behind the wheel of one but now they scared the crap out of me. I keep thinking about driving it in the snow and it is no snow mobile. who knows what i am going to do with it. I have thought about reselling it on Ebay for more because I'm sure I could get it and then buy my SUV I've been dreaming about but as for right now I am blaming the bid on hunger and taking it day by day.

BLACK FRIDAY

I am at a loss to find the words to describe today. Anyone who has worked in retail will understand when the words Black Friday are said. Usually the retail veterans smile and give knowing nods while exchanging looks of comfort and understanding. This was a huge.....wait, i didn't quite make myself clear. This was a HUGE!!!! Day for best buy. This is a day that we start training for and planning for months in advance. Our General Manager calls it controlled chaos. This is my third Black Friday with best buy and I can tell you after this one I decided that I am ready to throw in my blue shirt and khakis before the next one comes around.

Did we have huge sales on plasmas and LCDs? Yes. Were we giving away cameras and GPS systems? Of course! But come one people! I start to wonder what this world is coming to when the people in it take camping out side of best buy over eating THANKSGIVING DINNER! On one of the most amazing days out of the whole year.....when you can eat until you are ill and it is socially okay, people were starting to line up out side best buy before noon! By 8 pm thanksgiving night the end of the line was two stores down and by the time I arrived at work at ten to 4am on Black friday morning the line had wrapped around the shopping center and had about 2/4th of the way until it met it's self.

Every black Friday we as Best Buy employees walk in the door at 2:30 am, 3 am, and I was the lucky one who got 4 am and are required to drink a red bull, soda, or anything of our choice that will get us going. Then we finish up on any last minute challenges that present themselves, have a little meeting, and man our battle stations! When the doors open the customers come in and can smell fear, so you have to be on your game. I worked straight from 4 am to 4 pm doing the job of about three people. I was lucky enough to stop for a 30 minute lunche catered from a company best buy hired and grabbed a 15 minute nap behind the refrigerator where I would not be disturbed. I was exhausted by the time I got home and wanted to curl up and cry. In fact I did, as soon as I got home and sat by my sweet Tressa. I laid my head down and shed a few tears of exhaustion and well......slept.

Here are a few videos to illustrate the event that we have been training for the WHOLE YEAR!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZJVZ2p223o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnby-kDb0iE

The theater

I've decided I need to update this thing more. LOL This last week I had the pleasure of seeing Tressa give a thrilling performance of Wendy in Peter Pan for her high school play. Tressa is an amazing actress but unfortunately has been over looked by her drama teacher for the "Safer choices." Finally after the other stars of Wilde Lake High School graduated Tress got the lead in the play. she did wonderful! I am not just saying that because I am bias. People were gushing about her as they filed out of the theater after the curtains closed. You truly could see the emotion in her face as she let go of her childhood and peter pan with it. It was great!!


(At the ward trunk or treat)

I went to the show 3 out of the 4 performances. On the very last night I saw the joy and accomplishment in Tressa's face as she and the rest of the cast were taking their final bow and I about burst into tears! I was so happy for that wonderful girl. A girl who means so much to me and I love tons and tons. I knew how much she had wanted this and dreamed of this and prayed for this and she had finally got it! I love that girl and I am so happy for her and proud of her amazing talents!

"Wow." That is all i can say right now. I am so blown away about so many different things. I just got off the phone with the ex boyfriend of my Absolute best friend. I more fondly call him Beast Man. It was the first time I can remember getting off the phone with him after a very long conversation and not feeling DRAINED! Wow, I learned so much! It was great. So now I am sitting here franticly trying to so hard to grab the many thoughts speeding by in my head. There are so many and they are all so good. Like how much personal perspective REALLY creates fact and the truth of experiences. I learned that people who are positive are so much more fun to talk to then victims. (the thoughts are going around so fast I can't type them fast enough) I was reminded how wonderful it is that I do not have to worry or figure things out on my own. The Lord really will lead and guide me if I ask. Things will work out great! Heavenly Father is amazing how he works and knows so much and is so incredibly wise!!

The hand of the lord today

(Catherine and Me at temple square)


So President Eyring spoke in conference about recording how you saw the lords hand everyday. Today I was pretty down and I was wishing that I could Talk to my best friend because I knew that would make me feel better. She is one of the only people I can tell anything to and she will understand. And if she doesn't understand she will just listen. (with out any Deborah you are retarded comments)This was one of those stories meant for just your best friend. So I had faith that the lord would take care of things and help lift my mood. I thought it would be by sending me a letter from Catherine (my BFF) in the mail. I ran out to the mail box and there was nothing there. I guess I really don't know the mind of the lord. My whole family had gone to the temple for baptisms for the dead with the youth and I was chilling at home by myself. I was planning to sit at home and mope but then something made me get up and get in the car and drive to institute. No, I didn't have any huge revelations or spiritual experiences but I was out around friends which helped a lot. I even met a new friend that I am excited to get to know! Then I headed home. On the drive I started to think about my other best friend Jared and how I hadn't talked to him in FOREVER! Right as I walked in the door my dad told me Jared had called right before I came in! I immediately called him back and after catching up with him for about an hour I hung up the phone so up lifted and happy.

I am grateful that the lord knows that I needed a kick in the pants to get out the door and friendly banter with a good friend! I'm off to write Catherine a letter.

You loose some...you win some (and then bow out while you're ahead)

This evening I sat down next to my sisters and found myself captured by a popular TV game show. I was tied to the couch and obediently gave all my attention and precious time to the host as he created more and more suspense while the contestant wrestled whether to continue the game and risk loosing it all, or taking the money offered to him and walk away. The safe person would take the money and walk away knowing if he continued he may loose everything. But by always taking the safe route this person may be walking away and loosing out on a prize that could make his life much...richer. (not to mention it doesn't make for great TV)

The American people often thrive on the adventure and adrenaline that comes from chance and big winnings. Just take a look at our TV now a days. It started out with survivor and has lead to a plethora of game shows based solely on chance, such as deal or no deal. Or what about the crowds around the black jack table in Vegas? The Government has benefited from our suspense craving people by putting in slot machines to raise funds.

The point of my blog tonight however is not about gambling on reservations or vicariously getting our suspense fix by watching a single mother debate over making that her final answer. My point is that in life there are opportunities to take chances every single day. we take the chance, learn from them, and regroup as we prepare for the next round. Like when my dear friend (name withheld per our confidentiality agreement) took a chance choosing to eat at an unknown Chinese restaurant. He found himself by the toilet for the next two days. He has considered that experience when making the choice of where to eat since. He took a risk, learned from his experience, regrouped and headed into life one more time.

I recently took a chance on something and lost. I have thought about where my game plan went wrong and I have decided that's where I went wrong. I was sick of making game plans and placed my hand where the other player could see. I've been doing this a lot lately. Sometimes I can salvage it and sometimes I can't. It took me two rounds with this certain challenge to realize that sometimes no matter which way you approach the game, it is best to realize when you are ahead and bow out then. As I make that statement part of me disagrees very much. It amuses me how I many times, due to my unbridled nature, I get ahead of myself and want to jump into the middle of a game before it's started and that would probably be best not to start. I guess I have yet to figure out if the safe "take your money and walk", or the "keep going one more round" is the best route to take. There are other things I have yet to figure out...such as the rubiks cube or the secret to life. I guess I'll keep working on them and get back to you.

Up date

Tonight I was talking on the phone to one of my very good friends, telling him all about my adventures from El Salvador. When I started going I just couldn't stop. I hadn't told any stories in such a long time and I had started to get home sick. Later that night I remembered that I still had not emailed pictures to one of my English students that I promised I would email to her a very long time ago and started looking through the pictures I had of when I ate dinner at her house. This particular student was VERY wealthy and had a very nice home. LOL we were invited by her family to eat at her house two days before I flew back home and it was the first time I sat on a couch in some one's home while I was in El Salvador. It was funny to me when I walked in their home and saw the couch and thought....WOW! These guys are lucky! (especially because my cot on the porch had been deemed our couch during the day time)I don't want to ramble on but I was thinking about how much I have settled back into my life in the states so Quickly. I was reading an earlier post of little quirks I had coming home and I have found that most are gone. IT makes me pretty sad but I am so grateful for the experience I was able to have. I think about it every day and how grateful I am for it. Here are some fun pics from our dinner at Yascy's house.


Making Papusas!


The whole family! Grandma and all!


We sang them the isty bitsy spider in English

(ps. this will be one of the last "I miss el salvador" posts. Promise!)

Those who have known me for a while know of the tragic mistake I made in Middle school. I let my older sister cut my hair (no, that wasn't the tragic part), and in an irrational, spontaneous moment I had her cut my hair pixie short (this was the tragic part). After being mistaken for a boy time after time and soon feeling terribly unfeminine, it took me three years to grow it out again and ever since I would not cut it above my shoulders. It became some what of a security blanket to me. And I'll be honest and admit I felt that my hair was what made me beautiful. I have been thinking lately that I would like to donate my hair and today I decided that now would be as good of time as any. I made an apointment at a salon and cut the ties to my hair. (12 inches!) It is short and it is going to take some getting used to. And Honestly I do feel a bit of insecurity without the long locks I rocked before today.


(The traditional I am sad and miserable and I really need a make over "before picture")

I was filling out the donation form for locks of love, an organization who makes wigs with real human hair for children suffering from cancer, and I was thinking about the little children who would soon be rocking my locks now instead. I wondered if it would be a little boy or girl and how old they might be. I can't donate an organ to them right now or something that really need and could save their life, but I can give them a little of my "security". My heart really does go out to that little child and I feel a strange connection and love for the child I don't know who will soon carry a piece of me with them every day until it becomes theirs. I wish I could do more for them and reach out to them and let them know that everything will be okay. I hope they are able to feel that. As I look in the mirror and feel a tiny bit of sadness over the loss of my hair it is immediately swept away by my hopes that soon a child will be able to look in the mirror and feel a 22 year old girl's love for them.


(the I am so happy and beautiful and really glad I had a make over "after picture")

Goodbye Business suits, Hello Khakis

I am really excited tonight! I got a promotion about a week or so ago to operations senior, and honestly I wasn't to thrilled about it. I used to work in customer service and got sick of ticked off customers and supervisors who weren't that great. So I moved to Magnolia Home Theater to be an admin where a sharpie is pretty much my most prized and coveted possession. Now I am one of those supervisors in opps minus the not so great part. (cuz I pretty much rock) I am going to have to find a way to put energy into a department that has been pretty much anemic when it comes to energy and pride in what they do. Plus we are about to start the holiday season which is also crazy time for ops. Anyway, tonight things were slow in Magnolia and I wandered over to customer service. (actually they asked me to translate for a Spanish customer which was a lot of fun! I failed miserably, but it was fun to try until the real Spanish speaking employees stepped up) I hung around and talked to a few of the people I had left behind to move to Magnolia and I found myself being energized from them! I miss laughing and joking with them! And now I am so excited to go back to Opps. HA We'll see if I am singing the same tune Monday when I start training at 6 AM!!!!

Magnolia, it was wonderful to represent you for the last year but it is now time for me to kiss my sharpie goodbye and say hello to the Best buy blues one more time.

lesson 1: Optimism is addicting

Well I am sitting where I find myself far to often. At the computer reading other's blogs, on facebook, or trying to catch up on emails. As the minute hand on the clock makes it's rounds the list of things I should be doing instead of wasting time on the computer grows and grows. But today I am going to fold that list and put it away for the next few minutes so I can update my blog. I don't do it often because now that people come to visit I feel that I have to write something entertaining....and well that's a lot of pressure. I found the blog of one of my good friends from El Salvador today and it inspired me to write. She is one of my new favorite people, even though I know I probably wont see her again. I am grateful for those people that are brought into your life, even if it is for a very short time, who make things just a little better.

I have fond memories of this friend and I sandwiched between a scary bus driver with a mustache and an old lady holding her granddaughter on the front seat of the bus riding home from a very long day. We both would be exhausted and vent the hard things that happened that day or the inadequacies we often felt. Her optimism and choice to always assume the best was addicting. I hope that I didn't wear her out by coming to her time after time to get her always positive opinion on things when I just needed a boost. She is one of the funniest people I know and I always enjoyed myself when she is around.


To Maclaine:
Thanks for the wonderful flavor you added to our group in El Salvador. Some of my favorite memories include talking about boys the whole way home from the volcano (some thing she and I hadn't done for about 5 weeks), or laying on the roof cursing the clouds for ruining our hopes of a last minute tan, or who could forget our very exhilarating adventure our last night in El Salvador at the beach!

I have been blessed to know so many amazing and interesting people. All to often I get to know some one new that I want to share with the whole world because I think they are that cool. I am glad that I can learn so much from them and hopefuly make myself a little better. This week my goal is to apply a few things I learned from Macliane. 1) never take life to seriously and 2)always look on the bright side and assume the best about people.

Change and Adventure

You Are a Tulip

You have a wild, experimental side that craves change. You often switch jobs and lovers, always looking for something better. But deep down, you're also very well grounded and content. And you will come to know that the life you live is already ideal.

What Flower Are You?

This was on Abby's blog and I wanted to know what kind of flower I would be. So I took the quiz and I love the results! It's funny because they pretty much hit the nail on the head. As I think over my week I can't help but laugh at myself because of the drama created in just my own head over new jobs, boys, and old friends. Over the course of five days I have stressed out over tests for school, Driven my co-workers CRAZY over "what I am going to do about going to BYU-Idaho in January if I get the promotion I applied for" and I've given myself a few wrinkles stressing about the boy I have no interest in, driving hours from his home to mine just to go on a date and what I need to do to not lead him on in any way! Add on a few Hours of sleeping eating and going back and forth in my mind about whether I should wear a dress to work or slacks and you have my week. I am exhausted!

I am trying to teach my self to be a little more decisive and less dramatic, but it's slow going. When I sit down and think about it I do love the adventure that moving brings but I also hate the insecurities that follow close behind it. Really all in all life is great and I am so glad I am where I am right now. I am so young and I have so much to learn and I am surrounded by so many amazing people who can teach me!

I am back home in the states now and all I can think about is El Salvador! I loved being there and it has been quite a shock being back home in real life! I will be honest, it is nice to have hot showers and a car to drive but I have noticed some changes in my habits.

I find myself ALWAYS wearing my chaos for fear I might catch something from walking around barefoot.

I can't sleep at night because my bed is to soft

I get scared that I am going to burn myself right before I get in the warm shower

I miss the chicken buses and the time it took to get places.

The first radio station I turn to is the Spanish station (even though I don't understand half of what they are saying)

I can't go anywhere without my backpack, water bottle, and something to eat during the day.

I hoard all the change I can find...Hey that's a bus ride home!!

I feel naked with out my bracelets

I have to think twice before I speak now or instinctively I will use what little Spanish I know instead of English.

It's been quite the adventure coming back to reality but I can tell you that I do not miss the dang bichos!! (bugs) One day I counted and I had 26 bug bites on just one of my legs (and that was below the knee)


Gross Huh?

It has been wonderful to get emails from my English student in El Salvador. Today I was wishing that my boys from CISNA had internet access because I want so badly to have a way to tell them how much I miss them. I made so many wonderful friends while I was there!

There is the Tin Lady who made her living selling tin pans she made.



My hippie friend Luis



Or who could forget Running Carlos?



Some times I wish I could have brought them all home with me. But then again I when I think about them I am imediately taken back to the day the tin lady would not stop throwing tin in my bag, or the day Luis was trying to talk me into the idea I would rather be a tree, and it is like they are here with me.

Memories from CISNA

The boys at CISNA are a ton of fun also. I love how as soon as we walk in the gates they come running yelling “Tia, Tia, Tia!!!” It is sometimes pretty frustrating to not be able to speak with them and tell them how much I care about them but at the same time it is great just to be there with them and have fun kicking the futbul around (which always turns into keep away from “Devora”. That’s me for those of you who do not understand English spoken with the crazy thick accent) I love it when they come to me with a new bracelet they have made for me or when they try to teach me English. It is fun to play with these boys who have spent their lives up to that point on the streets begging for money or stealing to eat. There are a few boys at CISNA who do have parents and are there because their parents can’t afford to keep them at home. They send them to CISNA so they can at least be fed. It is pretty hard on those boys. I will always remember the day I really got to know Edwardo. (one of the boys who has parents.) It was my second time there and I was still pretty timid around the boys and with my Spanish. I would mostly just sit there and smile. I came over to another volunteer who spoke Spanish and who was sitting with one of the boys. I looked down at his arm and remembered hearing about this boy before I came that day. He and his two younger brothers Henry and Diego are there because their parents could not afford to keep them. This is really hard for Edwardo and yet it doesn’t seem to phase the two younger boys. Just the day before he carved his parents initials into his arm because he was so upset about it that day. The other volunteer was called away leaving Edwardo and I alone together. He seemed rather down that day and he put his head down in the volunteer’s back pack that she had left behind for him to hold and started to cry. There really was much I could do because I couldn’t speak to him and he didn’t want to talk anyway. I will always remember the day I met Edwardo and held him while he cried about missing his parents.

The CISNA boys are such a trip though. Now that I am comfortable with them and they feel the same with me, Edwardo will come and do my hair or bite me on the neck (which is really weird) or Henry will come and poke me until I chase him around. One day I chased him and he ran up a tree that was kind on slanted and once he got to the top he was to scared to come down. Or there is oscar or Juan who will sit with me all day and follow me where ever I go and are so patient as I try to learn Spanish. I love being with those boys.

Special needs

Today in the special ed room. Hollan and I finished the preparations for painting that we had begun the day before. It got to the point where it was only a one person job and Hollan was that one person. This left me with a ton of free time on my hands. I have never considered myself….how can I put this the best. I guess the best way would to say that I do not have much experience with mental disabilities and so have not thought myself to be very good with people who suffer from them. But over the last few days my mind has started to be opened and as I find myself interacting with these children I can’t help but fall madly in love with theirs smiles and laughs and warm greetings. I sat today and played with tonito. I am not quite sure what his disability is but I had the best time with him. This is going to sound weird but he would reach out his hand and touch mine and I would pull it away and gasp! We did this over and over and that is because when I did that he would laugh and laugh and laugh. I wish I had a recording of his laugh. It was one of the most beautiful sounds I have ever heard. I bet I could bottle it up and sell it as liquid happiness and make a fortune! I love making these kids smile. It is so amazing to me how they lay in their cribs all day and most of them have no ability to move because of their cerebral palsy and yet they are so optimistic and excited about life. You can see in their eyes how much they love to be touched and talked to and visited. Every time I walk in the door they are always smiling and happy and I know that they were that way before I came in.

I love the little boys at the orphanages where we work. This last week we have been focusing on painting murals on the barren walls of the preschool and special Ed rooms. These rooms are rather dull and drab and have very old wallpaper as a boarder falling off the walls. We started on the preschool room which is actually a big room with a ton of beds, a few cribs, and no toys. As we began cleaning the walls the curious preschoolers would come in and question what we gringos were doing and why all of the beds were in the middle of the room. They were so excited to help and we discovered that, Christopher, a 6 year old there has an amazing talent. He can sing like it is nobody’s business. I have a video of him singing his heart out as we finished the mural of a barnyard in the preschool. The mural turned out wonderful and we are all pretty proud of ourselves. I am especially proud of the pig because that was that first thing I have ever drawn in my life and it looks really good.

I am afraid that I going to forget everything that has happened here. There have been so many good experiences but at the end of the day I can’t muster up the energy to write them down in my Journal. There are so many things about this place that I love. I love the beautiful trees and mountains, I love the pupusarias on every corner, I love the tired old people who sit on the same street every day with the same expression selling the same bracelets or candies, or whatever you need really. Mostly I love all of the different kinds of people I meet every day. I am now sitting listening to our 30 something year old friend Carlos talk to another volunteer out on the patio. He is quite the character. He is a communist who LOVES Mic Jagger and The Who. He says he lived in San Francisco for years but he doesn’t speak a word of English. …..well except for the English he’s learned from listening to the Beatles. He says he did drugs in San Francisco, which is rather apparent by his jittery movements and comments. He has a crush on me and is constantly asking me if I have a boyfriend or to take weird pictures or if he can see my “bootiful, bootiful” hair because I often have it up in a ponytail. He comes over every night to play us his favorite oldies and in the morning he stops by to pick up anyone who would like to go running. He is quite the experience in himself.

Happy Birthday to one of the greatest men I know!

Today is the birthday of a very special man. My Dad is.....well to put it simply, Amazing! I am so grateful for the blessing of being taught and loved by this man as I grew up. My father has gone through some very hard experiences in his life as he grew up in a broken home in Las Vegas Nevada, and I am so impressed at the great man he has become. Among his strengths listed is being a great father. Through out my life I have always been close to my father and I have learned so much from him. I have learned to always do my best and then go the extra mile. I learned that we serve because we love people and if they need help we give it. I have watched my father love people regardless of who they were and what they had done to him and I have tried, not always succeeding, to model my life after his example. My father has taught me about the gospel and the blessings that come from living my life as close to the savior that I can. I could go on and on about who he is and how wonderful he is. He has tried his best to teach me so many things. I am definitely a slow learner and have a long way to go before I can hope to have some of the qualities my father has.

Out of all of my daddy's accomplishments his greatest is that I have never doubted and always known that he loves me (and the rest of his children) more then anything else in his life. I am so grateful for a father who knows that I am imperfect and still loves me. Many times I have felt very humbled by my mistakes and imperfections and I am so grateful that I have always been able to return to my father's loving and open arms, and then hear how much he loves me and always will. I think that I have learned more about my Heavenly Father's love through my earthly fathers example then any other experience.

Daddy thank you so much for teaching and loving me and helping me become who I am today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

EFY

Dear Sister,
Well I just got back from two of the most amazing weeks of my life! Being an EFY Counselor at Southern Virginia University was definitely a wonderful experience! I learned so much! I got there pretty anxious and nervous about the great trust the parents of these children were placing in me, as they dropped their precious teenagers off Monday morning expecting me to send them home spiritually fed and full of wonderful life changing experiences. Me, the girl who can't even make a straight face for a picture was supposed to do that.

I thought back on my experiences as a participant at EFY and became very excited for the weeks to begin. Sunday night I got the names of my girls and I was told who my co-counselors would be. I was originally in a three some but Monday morning a counselor who had been stranded at the airport for two days showed up and I was reassigned to him! When I got the list of names for the girls who would soon be my shadows for the next week I was amazed by how I instantly fell in love with them and I had never even met them!


Week one was amazing! Windows of heaven was so unified and excited to learn about the gospel. I was floored by how much these 16-18 year old girls looked up to me and listened to every word I said and were always watching. They opened up to me and shared things that I was amazed to hear them Sharing. It was one of the most amazing things Wednesday night when during my devotional I asked about the promptings they had been receiving that week from the spirit and for the next 20 minutes I got nonstop experiences and heart felt testimonies. I am so grateful for the power of prayer and the hand that heavenly father has in our lives. I kept telling the girls that Heavenly Father puts people in our lives for a purpose and to answer our prayers and it was am amazing testimony to me as I watched these girls lift and rally around each other to get through the VERY tough things that were going on in their lives!



The boys that week were daring too. I was amazed by how strong they were in the gospel and how willing and eager they were to honor their priesthood and the sanctity of womanhood.



My Co-counselor and I had so much fun with these kids and we really learned to love them like they were family. It was great to be able to watch them learn and grow and to send them home with a knowledge that their Heavenly Father knew who they were and loved them very much!



The second week I met with my new co-counselor (they change every week) and was so excited to repeat week 1 again. Boy was I in for an awakening! It proved to be the most taxing and difficult week I had had in a while. It was actually full of learning and growth, for which I am very grateful. About half of my girls the second week had trouble realizing why there were rules at EFY and the other half had never been and were not getting the wonderful EFY experience that every one raved about. I couldn't help but feel that it was primarily my fault because I let myself get to caught up in being the police of the operation.



They were beautiful girls and it was wonderful to get to Thursday and hear their sweet testimonies and how they had grown that week because it wasn't as apparent as the week before. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father knew that I am not perfect and created ways for the girls who needed help I could not give to receive that help.



As for the boys of the second week they were wonderful young men who were definitely growing and learning in the gospel. It was great to hear the ones who I could tell the first day did not have the rock solid testimony of who they were bare testimony that they had felt the spirit that week and knew that Heavenly Father was their father and "that Joesph Smith saw whatever he said he saw."



The "Fishers" taught me so much about the power of prayer and faith as I found myself on my knees at every opportunity pleading with the lord to help me find some way to get through to his precious children and show them how much I loved them!

It ended up being a wonderful experience. One that I have walked away from with many new friends and treasuring with my most precious memories.

Super Nanny to the rescue!

Dear Sister,
I am having quite the opportunity this week! For the past 2 and a half days I have been babysitting/house sitting the two most adorable children while their parents are in London. At first I was a little anxious and apprehensive because you know all about my past experience doing this kind of work. I babysat two little boys who were 5 and 2 years old. I had late nights of screaming about going to bed, nail polish ALL OVER the bathroom, I was punched and kicked and yelled at over not giving the boys they right spoon and by the time the week was over and the parent had come home I was out that door quicker then you can say bob's your uncle! It was a house where only super nanny would be able to fix the problems they had! We've both had experiences like that.
That was about three and a half years ago and I've changed my mind but I still had my apprehensions and all those memories came flooding back after I accepted this job and realized what i had actually done. I showed up Monday night, their mother ran over their daily routine with me, and she and her husband were off to England. Can I just tell you these are two of the greatest kids in the world! Oh my goodness they are complete opposites to the boys I described before. They eat all of their food, and clear the table before they leave, and they go to bed without any fuss by 7:30!!!!! WOW. I've been taking the younger boy on outings with me while her sister is at school and it has been so much fun! As I am writing this he is sitting quietly next to me building a train set. They remind me of how much fun we had as children! I am so grateful we had such an amazing mother! I am actually now looking forward to getting married, having children and being a mother to kids that are hopefully as great as these kids are! Their parents would never need super nanny here!

growing up

Dear Sister,
I told myself I was going to go to bed about 30 minutes ago. I am so exhausted and I know that I am going to hate myself in the morning because of my lack of sleep. I was thinking about friends from Silverado and how they were doing. Particularly Emily McGowan. Do you remember her? It breaks my heart to think of my friends who are so dear to me, and yet who I haven't kept in contact with. Most of them I put so much of me into being their friend and I just want the absolute best for them. Sister Spencer told me Will Tyson is inactive. I am so sad. HA do you remember him? Probably not as much as I do but I used to have a crush on him. I was such a funny boy crazy little girl.

I went to a great fireside tonight. It was about preparing for missions and although it didn't apply to me it was wonderful! I am always realizing things that I need to do better! Sister, some of my favorite people spoke. Craig C. for example. But It was great to hear about his mission and I had a thought that he may actually be a decent person now. It don't think that he and I will ever be best friends but I am......I don't quite know how to articulate it. I am learning to let go of the resentment I had for him for so long and for really no good reason. It's great to grow up and get over yourself.

Now that it is so late I am going to say good night and go write to our brother.

Muah!

My Rock

Well,
Due to comments from my sister, I am sitting here staring at the screen trying to write a blog. I opened this blog mostly intending to be a replacement for my myspace account I canceled because it was controlling my life! I felt that it was taking to much of my time and energy that desperately needed to be used on other things......like homework. Now I feel that Homework is controlling my life and I am not taking the time to keep up this blog to my sister's satisfaction.

So my Dear Sister,

I am taking a break to write just for you! I don't know what I will say because I am not as deep and thoughtful as you are at this time. I feel that my thoughts are always consumed with worry about how I am going to get everything done that I need to and still fit in work, Church, and sleep. I've decided that I need to become more disciplined. Satan really does know how to get me too! Whenever he wants to get me to not focus on what I need to he always throws a boy in the mix! LOL What is my problem Sister?

In my struggle to keep my head above water this semester with school, getting money for El Salvador, training and preparing for El Salvador, Working, Fulfilling my calling, getting ready for EFY, boys, and etc, I have had some deep thoughts and learned a few things. Sister, I am really trying hard to better myself and become the woman that Heavenly Father wants me to be, but even thinking of that really makes me overwhelmed! I start to think of that on top of everything else and it makes me want to lay down and cry. I know however that that is what I should be doing first and then things will work out. And who knows, this hectic life that I am leading is possibly training for becoming the woman Heavenly Father has planned for me to become.

So many times I find myself feeling so intimidated by the thought of spiritual growth and development. My spirit aches for it and I try to fill the need while being held back by my huge fear of the weakness that comes before becoming stronger. I know that I am a strong woman who has had a lot of life experience. I have made it through so many things that have turned out to be huge tutorials with heavenly father. But Sister, the subject for the most recent tutorial has been quite the challenge for me. It is something that you learned to do on your mission and it is something that you will not be surprised is a struggle for me. The most recent topic of study has been the need for me to surrender control of my life and be humble and patient.

I know that it will be a huge step for me and a great thing for me to learn! I only hope that I can actually get it through my thick skull the first time! I miss you quite a bit and grew way to accustomed to having you right down the hall when I needed support! I am so grateful for the way your have cared for me and loved me and helped to shape me into who I am today. I know that Heavenly Father has answered many of my prayers through my wonderful big sister. I have so many wonderful recent memories of you sitting next to me when I needed a hand to hold or just listening as I bawled my eyes out and telling you my latest trouble! I haven't always shown it but I've always looked up to you. Remember the story mom tells of when she took us to get our picture taken and I bawled and bawled until my big sister held me? Some times I still feel that way. All I want is for my big sister to be there and to know that she is behind me and proud of me. Thank you! I love you and don't know what I would do without you! Good night!

Love,
Your Little Sister