Disclaimer: This post is just for me to vent. You see, my regular therapist decided to up and leave to California for 18 months to go save souls and help people. Really? REALLY?! And so my dear blog, I turn to you. To the readers of this blog, don't stress. I am ok. I just need to vent.
The last few months I have been completely and utterly overwhelmed with life. I feel like I am not living. I am just surviving. My mind set has been focused on just getting through the week. When Sunday night comes I think, “It’s time to start it all over again already?” I don't know what exactly has changed except I feel more stressed, more tired, and everything is so much harder for me to handle. The adversary is also working hard on me. He seems to be pointing out all my weaknesses regularly, making my goals seem so unachievable. I am tired and it's been rough.
I keep thinking, Deborah just keep pushing through until graduation. You can make it. Things will get easier and you will have more time. But lets be honest folks. I hear things only get busier and faster paced as life goes on. If that's really the case I say, "Stop the bus! I am going back home to bed".
I keep thinking, Deborah just keep pushing through until graduation. You can make it. Things will get easier and you will have more time. But lets be honest folks. I hear things only get busier and faster paced as life goes on. If that's really the case I say, "Stop the bus! I am going back home to bed".
Yes it is true. Life is hard for me right now but let me tell you I am grateful (or at least trying to be). First, I am sure that Heavenly father is just preparing me for something better later on down the line. He has to be. And the second, he still sends me tender mercies to show me that he knows who I am. For example, Sunday on a whim I decided to go with Amy to a singles ward in northern Virginia. It's like a mini Provo on the east coast. The thought of going usually makes me want to gag myself with a spatula. But I sucked it up and drove the hour down there. My mind wandered as I sat through the meetings. Then after church there was a girl who came up to Amy and me and asked us to tell her our life stories. Amy went first. Then this girl said "Yep! That's what I thought you would say. I have a sense about people and I can usually tell what kind of people they are". It was my turn and I told her there really wasn't much to me. I was going to grad school for social work and that was about it. She said, "I knew it! I didn't know exactly what you were doing like I did with Amy, but I knew that you are a really kind and caring person. People come to you and there is healing." I don't know exactly how true it is, but I'd like to think she had me down. I feel like Heavenly Father was working through her to remind me that he still knows me and to hang in there.
Again, this week has been rough. It has brought new challenges as is typical with each week. I cried, I vented, and then I picked myself up to keep going. My adjustment to the different things this last semester has brought is not over, but I know it will all be ok. Heavenly Father has already stilled and comforted my heart.
In my office I have two quotes by Audrey Hepburn. I love Audrey Hepburn. They inspire me and I hope they inspire my clients. (That's why I have them in my office). The first one says,
"NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. THE WORD ITSELF SAYS 'I'M POSSIBLE'."
The second one is on my desk and I look at it often. It pretty much sums up my philosophies on life.
“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.”
Whenever I read "I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong...I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles" it reminds me that even though life is kind of rough right now, I can do it.
