Shame Buster Challenge

This semester my favorite class has definitely been my group class. I am learning to run group therapy sessions! In class every week we have a group therapy session and a class member takes a turn running it using a different theoretical model. The class period before the actual group we receive home work to prepare for our group and to teach us the model. This last week the model was the rational thought model where we examine our irrational and rational thoughts. Our homework was called the shame buster challenge and we were to pick something that makes us very nervous or embarrassed and do it. I had a hard time deciding what to do because I really don't get embarrassed by to many things if I know I have to do them. After many class periods of thinking about this assignment rather then what was being discussed I finally came up with something!

Before the group leaders gave us this assignment in group class they asked us to think of something that we have to do that makes us really anxious. Again I had a hard time with this but did come up with something. That something was dating! I get so upset and anxious inside at the thought of going on a date or being in a relationship. I know that to many of you reading this it is coming at a huge shock. This is coming from the girl who when she didn't have a dime to her name to buy food, rather then getting a job, got a date every night during her freshman year of college. Or when she lived in Provo, her roommates made fun of her for all of the men in her life wanting her attention. I used to love dating and socializing and thought it was a game.

This is a recent development and I am just as perplexed as you. But nonetheless when I have to go out on a date it is like taking a favorite toy away from a two year old. I totally throw a tantrum in the privacy of my bedroom to my sweet roommates. It doesn't matter who I go out with. It can be a good friend that I have known for years. If it is a "date" this 25 year old girl freaks out and starts to pout. Okay so with this in mind I decided that my shame busting challenge would be that I had to find a complete stranger that I am attracted to and ask them out on a date.

I had two days to get this done and I was running out of time. Finally my friend Brittany and I found a guy and discovered he did not have a ring on his left hand. As soon as that discovery was made Brittany turned around and booked it the other way. I turned around and told her how much I hated her, gathered all the courage I had, walked up to him and asked him to dinner. HA It was soooo awkward and if I hadn't taken up so much of your time I would go into detail about studdering over my words and not even knowing his name or introducing myself until half way through our conversation. The people in my class thought it was great and that my shame busting assignment was finished. But it is faaaaar from over. Now I actually have to go out on a date with this kid on wednesday!

But can i just tell you even though I was mortified after doing it I realized that I DID IT! And I did it with out a stitch of make up on my face. Here is a glimps of what I looked like that day.

This was the fruit cup I had to pretend I was buying just to have an excuse to be in the cafe he was in buying food.

My Awkward face I know I had.

Yep....I've still got it if I can get a date from a complete stranger with no make up or hair done.

The fun theory

As I have grown up my parents always include one thing in their descriptions of me. It goes something like this, "Deborah is all about fun." When ever there was a chance to have a good time I often dropped what I was doing and headed out the door to get in on the action. I remember one comment made to me in frustration went some thing like this: "Life isn't just about fun, Deborah". Well I propose that it is. If things are fun there is much one can accomplish.

Exhibit A:




*Now I must put in a disclaimer that through my life experience I have learned there are many important and serious things that do need attention. But if you always focus on those things, where's the fun in that? ;)

Fun Videos

In one of my social work classes my teacher's favorite teaching tool is youtube. He always finds inspiring videos for us. Here is one that I love. Trust me.....You'll love it too. It's just one of those videos that make you think. It helps you remember that you really can do anything with the Lord's help no matter what the world tells you.

Guitars unplugged

Tressa and I go to a concert type thing at our school every semester. It's called guitars unplugged. It is a B-LA-S-T just to get dressed up with her and go out and have fun. We went to walmart earlier in the day and found these cute shirts for 3 dollars. I wore mine in honor of the cutest little girl Named London. I don't even know her really but a friend of mine posted about her on her blog and I had loved reading her story ever since. She is an inspiring little girl and I am very happy for her.

Anyway, This semester the music wasn't so great but we did look pretty good. We laughed at our selves all the way there because we both decided to wear heels and did not want to walk. So we got in the car to drive two seconds down the street to the hart (we literally live 5 minutes away walking) but because we left later then expected we had to park right next to our apartment and walk the rest of the way. Seriously we should have just driven back to our own parking lot but I was not about to be defeated!! If you lived in Rexburg you'll understand why it was so ridiculous that we drove. Here is the real reason for this post.....Pictures of my cute sister and her hair.




Tressa is basically my best friend. I don't know what I would do without her.

The transformation

Well So much has happened in the last two weeks. Every once in a while amid the craziness that life brings a girl needs a fresh look. So Tressa and I ran to the store this morning and did something pretty drastic. The fresh look is still in the works but here's what we've got so far.....

Before we embarked on our adventure

Before

After

I think she looks great!! A new hair cut with some swoopie bangs and she is good to go! She is a beautiful girl no matter what her hair color is!

Probably the greatest major on Earth

I just had one of the greatest experiences ever! I was late leaving work today which meant I was late getting to class. As I hiked up the hill to my class in the Ricks it was cold and snowy and I cursed my decision to wear heels and the ridiculous pencil skirt I had on. I seriously thought about just stopping in the parking lot and heading home. However when I walked into class I quickly sat down because the guest speaker I had totally forgotten was coming had already started. Can I just tell you that going to class was one of the best decisions I made today.

The Guest speaker was one who uses the psychodrama model in therapy with homosexual individuals. I absolutely loved everything that he had to say. The things and ideas he shared were so interesting and helped me learn and grow so much more. I think that because of my own personal connections to this topic and my fantastic cousin I was hanging on every word he said. I walked away so uplifted and grateful for his service to take the time to speak to us.

I am finding that I am having wonderful growing and learning experiences in class every single day. I absolutely LOVE my major and the decision to switch from nursing to social work was one of the best ones I've made. I never knew school could be so much fun. As I walked out of class with one of my favorite friends in the program we commented on how lucky we feel to be not only be participating in the social work program but also attending BYU-Idaho. Not every university offers experiences where you are able to visit jails to go through the booking and incarceration process, or run group therapy sessions as a student, or hear from amazing people with expertise in same gender attraction, mental health, and drug courts. One of my favorite things was last week when a mental health client struggling with bi-polar disorder and many addictions came and we were given time to talk to him and interview him as if he were one of our own clients. Then he critiqued us on our interviewing skills as a professional. It was one of the greatest learning experiences.

Everyday I have amazing experiences. I am learning and growing into a kinder and more compassionate person. I feel like this major only teaches me to have a greater capacity to love others. (who wouldn't want that?) I am so grateful for the experiences I have had so far and the idea of the person I will become as I finish the program. I only hope that Heavenly Father will help me become more prepared and ready for the responsibilities he has in store for me.

You can't get to many heroes!

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "A hero is no Braver the an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer." This last weekend I found a few heroes right in my own family. I was at my breaking point and did not have 5 more minutes of bravery. But these people sure did. I have talked about them before but you can never talk about your heroes to much.



This is my Brother Mark. He married my sister 4 years ago and he's been the best addition to our family since Rachel was born! ;) This man is amazing! He is a quiet strength and honestly I don't know what I would do with out him. He would give his right arm just to help anyone. He has such a good head on his shoulders and heart in his chest. This man keeps me grounded whenever I come up with one of my crazy ideas. But I know that he will always support me through anything like he has always done since I met him in December 2002.



This is my brother Eldon. Every day I become more and more grateful to be able to call this man Brother. I wish I could express how impressed I am with Eldon. My heart is so full when I think about him. He loves his sisters more then anything and we love him. I feel so undeserving of him and all he does. He is the greatest example of patience, charity, and strength. He has stepped it up and been my hero time and time again. It never fails that when i find myself falling apart or not knowing where to turn, my baby brother holds me together and rescues me from distress.




This is my Grandpa. What would I do with out him? I love being with him and listening to his ideas and stories. Just his voice puts me at ease and makes me feel safe. I could stay at his house forever. I know that he loves me and I would do anything for him. He is another man who is a great example of service to me. I sure am surrounded by great men. I am so grateful he was there when we needed him this weekend.



This is my Grandma, Christy. I do not know her very well yet but every time I hear about her or am around her I am impressed! She is a wonderful and wise woman. She is smart, creative, and has an amazing heart. I am so grateful for her strength and insight. Gramps, ya did good!



This is my sister Elizabeth. (I don't think she'll like this pic but I love it) She has always taken good care of me. I know that she loves me and she always knows what to do. Many many times she has just listened to me as I cry and pour my heart out and that's all I needed. I want to be just like this woman one day.



And this....This is my sister Tressa. I love her more then words can describe. She has done more for me then I can ever repay her for. She knows exactly what to say all the time. She is one of the strongest people I know and honestly has the biggest heart. She is the one who always thinks more for others then for herself. She has taught me what true love means and always shows Christ Like Service. This woman honestly is an angel on earth. I don't know how our family got so blessed to have her but she deserves better then the very best. There is nothing I would not do for Tressa Lee. I love you very much Baby sister!



And this is my cute sister Rachel. She wasn't with us this weekend but I wanted her to know how much I love her. I am so stinking proud of this girl! She is growing up into such a BEAUTIFUL young woman. I wish I could be with her more. I wish she and I weren't so far away and we could have more days like in this picture! Just together. I love you Rach! You are the Ray of Sunshine in our family!