Well lately far to often I have found myself wondering, "what in the world is wrong with me?!" And by that I mean I get way to emotional about something so stupid or I can't distract my mind from something so unimportant long enough to read a simple paragraph. Now before I go any further I am going to warn you this is a post for venting. Any way, usually I only have the "what is wrong with me" thought once a month, i have a good cry about it and then I am up and running in no time.
Well it seems like that once a month has grown up into a fully matured month. And really it is the same thing that is taking up permanent residence in my thoughts and refuses to leave. It's starting to tick me off and I am not quite sure what to do about it. My poor sweet angel little sister has been a saint as night after night I babble and complain about my need to find a new tenant. Oh and my best friend stays up as I talk about it. She has even done everything thing she can think of to distract me. Not even the thing that used to be a sure fire way to improve my mood has worked. She has single handily lined up 6 dates for me! (no technically it's been 7) Now usually a new guy is a sure fire way to distract me from my present cares but it looks like it is time for Cat to find some new techniques. Which brings me back to my first question. What in the world is wrong with me?
Don't get me wrong, I am very happy. Life is so dang good right now. I don't walk around campus mopey at all. In fact I often get funny looks because almost every day on my way to classes I laugh out loud at the thoughts running through my head. But it is that every once in a while something will remind me or Cat will mention another date she has for me and I will anxious and some times even a little down.
Today was not the greatest. I have a few theories...I'm thinking it's due to the lack of sleep I have been getting, or the ridiculous snow that has been falling ALL day, or is there such a thing as post PMS? Who knows? But I could not wait to get out of my class just because I was on the verge of tears. It was my turn to bring the treats to my night class and I thought my teacher didn't appreciate his Birthday cupcake. I mean really?
Well I told myself I needed to get more sleep and fully intended to go right to bed at 7:45 once I got out of class. HA Now it is 11:11 pm but I do feel a little better. I still am wondering what i need to do to not feel like I am going crazy and stop thinking about the same exact thing every day. I keep thinking there must be something I can do but everything I come up with doesn't seem like the best Idea. HA don't you hate it when that happens?
6 comments:
Oh Deborah, you sound so sad. I have two things to say. First of all...you are Wonderful! (You are beautiful, you are smart, you are spiritual, you are funny, you are creative, you are generous and kind, you are a good person, and I personally know that you are WAY LOVED!) That was thing one. Thing two is this. I have gone through boughts like this and have found that the effects are lessened when I get enough calcium. It sounds stupid and way too easy, but it does help. Go get yourself some of those chocolate calcium chews. I promise it helps. It doesn't get rid of all of it, but it does help. I will be praying for you.
It sounds like you really needed to vent really bad and I am glad that you did and hope that it was helpful. We will keep you in our prayers and know that we all miss you (all of you who are in college) and can't wait to see your smiling faces again. <3
I Love You Deborah!! <3
My husband said to tell you to eat ice-cream. After all it is calcium, and it is a great way to decompress too(his favorite way).
I will for sure try the ice cream and Calcium Eve. Thanks! And Julie!!!! I am so glad you read my blog and will pray for me! Such a sweet heart!
PS. I love you too Rach
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