Wow I need to go to bed! But I also have to get this out. This blog was originally started as a place for me to get my thoughts and feelings out. I used to write it in the form of a letter to my sister. Because Liz is some one I look up to so much and just adore. I adore all my sisters and I am so grateful for each one and their goodness to me and how they will listen to me for hours on end. My life wouldn't be so amazing if I didn't have my sisters. Anyway, that's a post for another time. Right now I find my self needing to go back to the old school of this blog. So here it goes....
Dear Sister,
The last 4 days have been some of the most stressful days I've have in a long while. You know how through out life Heavenly father presents you with many learning experiences and choices to be made? HA Well I have had quite a few and they've been good ones!
The last few days fate forced me to reminisce on one of those choices I made a few years ago and that brought with it a quick condensed version of how to tie up loose ends and clean up that tiny little pile of dirt that you would much rather sweep under the rug. (It's so much easier that way but after much studying not the best way.) It amazing at how the little decisions in life can really affect your future. This weekend I reflected on a past decision. It wasn't little, but very life changing. I felt kind of like Pocahontas. You know, where she is at the fork in the river and trying to decide which path to take. Well my paths weren't quite as exciting as hers but I could still Identify.
I found myself with two choices. One was heart wrenching and the other was easier, but my gut told me it wasn't right. So do I cause my self the pain by taking the road less traveled? Or should I take the easy way out while undermining my intuition? As you know I stayed true to the promptings I had and through many tears took the road that wasn't easy. At the time I got many confirmations that it was the right thing, however after all was said and done I found myself questioning my logic every now and then. Especially after I saw another take the path I passed up an seemed to be successful.
After the clean up on isle 10 this weekend, I was driving around by myself thinking about it all. And one more time a confirmation came. But stronger and much clearer then the others. You know when Heavenly father tells you to do something and you don't quite know why? Then a while later you understand? This time I felt more like I had dodged a bullet. It felt a lot like how I imagine a soldier would feel if he was supposed to go on a dangerous mission but another went in his place and was broad sided by an attack. The soldier is so sad for the man who went in his place however so happy he is safe and sound. Does any of that make since? Is that bad to feel.
Wow the relief! Anyway, now that this weekend is over I feel like I can breath again! Thanks for letting me vent a little,
Love,
Your little sister
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